You will find all these activities filed under the category of “Things that I Have Quit.” It was not until after a very indignant conversation with my husband that I even paused long enough to see the pattern in my life of enthusiastic starts that for various
excuses reasons kind of sputtered out (Funny how marriage has a way of making you aware of your weaknesses). I think I’ve figured out a couple of reasons for this:
1. It kind of mitigates vulnerability. If I don’t throw myself COMPLETELY into something, than failure doesn’t really say anything about me. “Didn’t make the basketball team in Junior High? I’m sure if I would have really practiced before the try-out I would have been good enough. Oh, well.”
2. Too much good stuff. “Why yes, I would love to be on that committee.” “Ooo that’s cool and exciting.” “Being part of something meaningful and awesome? Sign me up!” I first started becoming aware of my desire to pursue all the great stuff that comes my way when at a professional development we were introduced to the concept of GRIT, as researched by Dr. Angela Duckworth (the grit scale that she talks about is here). Her TED talk identifies the quality of passionate perseverance sustained over a long period of time is a key factor in achievement. This usually involves being in an “uncomfortable place” in order to zero in on weaknesses. In case you were wondering, I don’t like being uncomfortable. I suspect my aversion to sweat may explain my short-lived athletic career. Historically speaking when something becomes uncomfortable, I look around, find something different in which to be interested, and jump on a new bandwagon. But it’s time to take the advice of Julia Child:
So. In 2013, I want to be about the word WHOLLY. According to the dictionary definition, it is the anecdote to my preferred mode of operation: doing things halfway and umping from thing to thing.
In the next few months, I want to be intentional about solely and completely devoting myself to the priorities of the areas where it is important to be to be great. In responding to God’s work in my life. As a mother. As a wife. As an educator. In participating in my church community. In being a good neighbor.
Living WHOLLY will certainly be “to the exclusion of other things” that don’t point towards my main priorities. It will push me out of my comfort zone, because there are very few things to which I have given myself “to the full or entire extent.”
Well, just saying that out loud makes my want to pray.
God, the world is so enticing to us-we want to taste everything. Our minds are cluttered with desire. You alone are worthy of our desire and worship. Today we devote ourselves wholly to you.
-prayer from the Moravian Texts
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